Writing Tense

Writing tense doesn’t refer to how tense a writer may feel when writing, but is instead about the tense the story is written in. There are a few no-no’s about this that writers, especially new writers, should be aware of.  

It doesn’t occur often, but occasionally a client sends me a manuscript written in a moment-by-moment manner, as the story is supposed to be happening. Example: Mary walks into the room and looks around. She sees the vase has been moved and puts it back into its proper place. Mary then walks to the sofa and adjusts one of the pillows.

Sorry, but this is not a novel—it’s stage directions for a play. And this is never ever how a novel should read. An acquaintance shared that an agent told him his manuscript would never be considered as long as it’s written in this manner. His is a compelling story (based on the few chapters he let me read); but until he revises it, it will stay a file on his computer and an unfulfilled dream, unless he self-publishes it as is, which is not a good idea.

A client who wrote her novel this way approached me initially for a critique (developmental evaluation). Among other creative and technical suggestions, I advised her to revise the entire manuscript so it was in the proper tense and so that proper editing could be done. Yes, I could have rewritten it for her as part of developmental editing services instead of a critique, but that would have taken a good deal of time and expense; plus, she learned a great deal from the revision experience. Her book has an agent’s interest, which would not have happened otherwise.    

I ask you to consider why people read novels (and non-fiction) of any genre—it’s so they are taken into a mental/emotional space different from the one they're in. They want to sit back and let the story be a movie in their minds. A novel written in present tense (action as it happens) does something specific: it requires the reader to work. It's akin to asking a viewer to watch a movie on the screen and act out the parts of the characters at the same time, rather than sit back, watch, think, and feel. 

This writing style (and a few others) does something specific: It takes readers out of the reading experience they expect to have. This is not something readers appreciate. Readers prefer not to be reminded they're reading. They want the story to engage them, yes, but not in this way. A balance has to happen with writing—what's good for the writer and what's good for the reader. If only the writer is satisfied, this does not bode well for the book or the writer.

Anything that takes readers out of the reading experience is best avoided (writing style, typos, seriously misused punctuation, junk words, extraneous scenes and dialogue, etc.). You do have to trust your head-and-heart alignment about your writing, but you also benefit from paying attention to readers' responses to it, which includes responses from a developmental editor, whose primary concern is or should be to help you make your book the best it can be.

One client wrote a short story as part of a collective and did use as-it’s-happening narrative in that one instance. But we handled this in a specific way: We made it a news-type story delivered by a narrator, which was integral to the story, and is akin to listening to an announcer on the radio. Had it not been crafted this way, it wouldn’t have worked and would have contrasted with the other stories in the book that were written in the proper tense. It’s one thing to do this in a way that works for a short story and another for a lengthier novel. You don’t want to wear readers out while reading, if they’ll stick with it, that is.

I say this because I'm not just a developmental editor. I'm also an avid reader of many fiction and non-fiction genres. If the way a fiction or non-fiction book is written (which includes memoirs) annoys me, I won’t read it (it’s different, of course, if I’m wearing my editor cap). I’ve been trying to slog through a book someone gifted me with that annoys me no end to read. Nearly every sentence—and this is not an exaggeration—starts with a gerund or a participle. There are other annoying factors, but this one really stymies my ability to get through the book to learn what the author meant to convey. (Example: Understanding a choice had to be made Mary walked to the window and looked out. Realizing the choice wouldn’t be easy she stared out the window, yet saw nothing. Walking to the door she put her hand on the knob and paused. Turning the knob she walked out; her decision made. Knowing what she had to do, she dialed Mike’s phone number. Hearing him answer after the first ring, she hesitated.) Perhaps you can see how tedious it becomes to read something written in this way. And, sadly, it seems it could be a good book (based on the relatively few pages I’ve managed to read), if only an editor had advised the writer properly.

Let’s get back to writing tense. It’s also important that you don’t change tense in narrative, something I have seen a few writers do. (Example: Mary walked into the room and looked around. She sees the vase has been moved and puts it back into its proper place.) You can shift tense in dialogue because people do speak in past, present, and future tense; but you have to stick to one tense—the right tense—in narrative. Now, relax and write tense well.

I wish you the best with your writing and progress.

Need a Book Doctor or an incentive to write or complete your manuscript? Let Joyce L. Shafer be your writing coach, developmental editor, or provide a critique. Details about her services at http://editmybookandmore.weebly.com/

The Importance of Suspense in a Novel

What makes suspense work in a novel? There’s quite a lot to know about this, but here are some highlights.

Every story benefits from some level of suspense. Plot relies on it. For suspense to work well, readers have to care about or be curious about what will happen to one or more characters. This means that as important as plot and suspense are, characters are equally so because plot and suspense reveal the characters for who they really are and characters propel the plot forward, based on what they say or don’t and the actions they take or don’t. Suspense, as with anything, should never be used to fill space. It must be relevant to the story and relevant for the characters, based on their role in the story.

Readers may believe they know the characters you’ve created for them and will rely on them to be true to themselves, if you’ve developed them well, but readers still anticipate the feeling of suspense as they wonder what a character will say or do in certain circumstances. Think of it like baseball: as exciting as it is when the batter hits the ball, the real suspense happens in the moments that immediately follow the sound of the crack, when leather meets wood.

Suspense arises as a result of some form of conflict. Conflict in plot development works best when it shows up then builds, whether just in a particular scene or throughout the novel (though, every scene must contribute to the overall plot and character development). This may involve some form of danger, but it can also be an inner experience for a character as well.

Suspense is about risk, whether it’s between one or more characters or within the character. Suspense can be anything from a character in a darkened room becoming aware there is something or someone breathing heavily on the other side of the door, or how a character will perform in a personal challenge such as facing a job interview panel or facing an angry lion that needs to be re-captured, or the ten-year-old boy working up courage to confront a bully. It can include any resistance a character feels—toward themselves, one or more others, or life events. Resistance is often about characters facing their worst enemy—themselves, in whatever circumstance they find themselves in.  

Here’s the main purpose for suspense: to keep readers reading the book and not wanting to put it down. But, suspense and conflict do not have to come from one dastardly event occurring right after another, like Dominoes falling. Suspense has all to do with the structure of the novel. Relevant and even life-changing events, wrapped in their own form of suspense, must happen as part of a logical sequence of events. You’ve done a good job with suspense when readers care about what’s going to happen and don’t want to stop turning pages, or if they must stop reading, they’re eager to return to the book as soon as possible. You can use and build suspense in many ways; however, you don’t want to overdo this or it will slow plot momentum. Worse, it will become obvious to readers that you’re more interested in distracting them from less than stellar plot and character development than making sure the story engages them.  

Other forms of suspense include seeking something significant, big discoveries that are made, time running out, physical attacks, as well as emotional or spiritual attacks. Something as simple as an envelope with a significant message inside received but unopened and forgotten about or an important fax that falls under a nearby piece of furniture creates suspense. There’s something there a character needs to know about—readers know about it—but the character is operating in the dark. This creates a promise to readers: at some point, the character will either discover or be impacted by this.

Suspense must happen organically within plot development; and three of many ways to do this involves the use of clues, false clues, and red herrings. “A clue is a mistake by another name,” said the character James Hathaway in the PBS series Inspector Lewis). Clues provide information to a character (and to readers). These can include tangible objects such as fingerprints, or a button torn from a garment during a struggle and later pried from the clenched hand of the victim, or a circled listing in a newspaper. A false clue can be used on a character by another character (a character lies to the private investigator), which is learned by the P.I. later in the story. You can also use what’s called a red herring, which is an event or statement that misleads characters (and readers); but this must be logical and have relevance to the story. A red herring keeps readers from figuring out what’s really going on sooner than you wish to reveal what is going on.

I wish you the best with your writing, process, and progress.

Joyce Shafer

“Editor, Joyce Shafer. What can I say? Simply put, no Joyce, no book. Part editor, part coach, part teacher, Joyce was absolutely phenomenal throughout the entire editing process. Working with Joyce was like taking a graduate course in writing with your all-time favorite teacher and you were the only student. I just can't say enough good things. Allow me a shameless plug for her services at http://editmybookandmore.weebly.com/ ~ Eric Berbig, Author of The People’s Will

Work with Joyce L. Shafer as your writing coach or developmental editor. Details about her services, including Critiques and The Chapter-by-Chapter Get-Your-Book-Written Writer’s Incentive Coaching at http://editmybookandmore.weebly.com/